Children in Worship Part 4: Tips for Making Worship Work with preparation

1)Prepare by teaching your kids why you worship, who you worship, what the expectations are, where it all happens, how it happens, and when it happens (and how the expectations change.)  This is the theological and practical mix, that will change based on your church, your personality, and your preferences.  

2) Prepare for Sundays, starting during the week. 

• teach your children why you value church.  
• teach your children what worship is. 
• talk about what you learned, were challenged by, or how you grew after attending church.
• get clothes, shoes, schedules aligned for how the WHOLE family will get ready, have breakfast, and get out the door without frustration or running late.  (on Saturday) 
• in my house this means Dad does his thing first, and is just present in the great room while the kids come in and out according to their normal routine. 
• our kids follow the same order we do for school.  Mom helps the kids at the same level and order as she does on a school or work day.  Our kids have a staggered breakfast, bathing, dress routine once they are awake.  We change as little as we can from the other days of the week.  
• Mom follows her normal routine, which is getting up, getting the kitchen ready or making breakfast, waking children, combing hair, helping etc.  
• We take two cars on weeks where we aren't all ready at the same time to lessen the stress.  
• Church bags are packed the night before and set out.  (or whatever you find acceptable- some families want their kids to have nothing because they listen better that way, others only a bible and notebook, and others say if you can be more pleasant and listen better with resources, that's fine- You the parent determine what you can live with.) 
• snacks and beverages as needed are prepared.  (my 9 and 13 year old bring Pop these days- it's a treat and it helps their attitude, and all the adults bring in all kinds of beverages so why not!-we want happy, joyous kids)
• coloring books, fun gel pens (tweens), bibles, quiet fidgets, gum or mints.   
• no matter what the age- my children brought a Bible- a storybook one, an early reader one, a graphic novel version, etc.  It was based on their reading level and motivation to focus during the main meeting.  If they were older, but not ready to sit quietly and listen or take notes and listen- they brought an age appropriate bible to read if they weren't ready to engage the whole time.  
• if possible, coloring or activity books are biblically driven, reminding the kids this is a time to focus on Who God is and respond with joy from knowing Him.  We know have packets or coloring pages for our weekly themes and verses at church.  
• AWANA books are okay to work on too.  They focus on God's Word.. 
• Mom and Dad stuff is also sitting there.  If I'm teaching Sunday School my bags are packed and ready, no getting stuff on Sunday morning.  
• some families have church bibles that live in the vehicle so they don't get lost.  
• Plan who sits where when you get to church.  Plan WHERE you will sit if you don't have one place, if that place is closer to the front to lower distractions, explain that.  Our kids knew if their friends were sitting near our normal location, we would go to the other side and sit near childless couples, singles, etc.  We sit about half way to the front because I have to leave early for Sunday School and I don't want to move from the very front.  Midway is way less distracting.  (we used to plan that a child could leave early or had to stay with Dad so we didn't have a problem.)  
• Expectations need to be proactive. You've met your children. You've experienced the horrible weeks where you are exhausted trying to manage and respond to all the antics of your children in the meeting.   
• i.e.  our two oldest cannot sit next to one another without issues, so we leave an empty chair between them.  We used to assign turns for sitting by Mom to avoid the fight.  
• we've invited college students to join our row and sit between children to help their attention be on their big buddy who already sits well- rather than a sibling.  
• we've had a back up plan with a good friend who is single and stern, and offered that a child who doesn't want to follow my lead, can go sit with him. (they do not want to do this.) Other times we've had grandparent friends who have no grandkids near them sit near us or take one of our kids to sit with them- they think all the helps, wonders, comments, and questions an 8 year old boy has are completely charming, and said boy loved being helpful and holding a hymn book or his bible for his special friends who are enamored.  

3) Pray about it. Read the Word. Meditate on the theme/passage that week.  Think aloud any wonders, connections, thoughts you may have with your family.  Let the Holy Spirit guide you and prepare you for worship.  The kids are way less distracting when you are already engaged and ready to praise God. 

4)  Be prepared for failure, weeks that you wonder where you went wrong, and if part of the problem is your attitude, ask your kids for a do over next Sunday and to forgive you for ________.  Know we all have a story of a child embarassing us when they were creating havoc! Mine is my nephew at age 5, when I refused to carry him at events, saying so loudly the whole church heard him, Aunt Sarah YOU SAID YOU COULDN'T LIFT ME!  as I carried him out.  And my other memory is of our middle kiddo- asking about 5 minutes in, a little too loudly, is it over now? (because someone prayed and that's always how we end!) 

Be prepared this can work!! You can think your child was so distracting and loud, and have a parent of teens, say after the meeting- I can't believe how good your children sat, how quiet- my kids NEVER were so good, and he was sitting NEXT to the most annoying child.  It's all perspective.  

Over time it will become a habit and more joyful as you learn to sit and attend together.  The weeks where you child sings along, or is humming Jesus loves me, or asks a random but unbelievable question about God that connects to what is going on-- WRITE it down- so you remember.  

5) Prepare to praise your kids for IMPROVEMENT- and growth- not perfection or your high expectations.  We are asking a lot when we ask kids to sit in seats made for adults, in a quiet or nearly silent room, that is full of their peers too and pay attention to a grown up for way more minutes than we know their brains can handle.